Saturday, May 1, 2010

Helping Your Children Develop Their Friendships

By Gwen Velez

One of the most important lessons to learn when growing up is how to get along and make lasting friendships. Children rely on their parents to teach them how to make the right choices when deciding who to pal around with. Parents can stay involved by hosting play dates at their homes.

Play dates are a fun and informal way for parents to see how their children and their friends play together. They then can decide whether their children and their friends are behaving constructively. In this way parents can make corrections if need be. It's also a help to meet their friends' parents and take a look at their family situation.

Make sure to teach your children your values and the how to identify those same qualities in their friends. Let them know that qualities like honesty and trust are important in a relationship.

Recently, my daughter confided in me that a new friend she had made wanted her to lie to me about a trip they were planning on taking. My daughter told me that she didn't feel right about lying to me but her friend was insisting on it. She said this made her uncomfortable.

I was proud that my daughter felt she could confide in me and I took the opportunity to reinforce the values I hold dear, such as honesty and responsibility. We discussed the situation and what makes a person a good friend.

I was gratified to learn that she had decided to end the friendship. She said she didn't want a friend who would make such demands on her and put her in an awkward position.

It's important to acknowledge that not all children are the same. Some are comfortable in a crowd and make friends easily. Others prefer to have just a few close companions. Embrace their differences.

Find out how your child feels about their friends and friendship in general. By staying involved you will help empower your child to make the right decisions and stay true to their values.

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